August 21,2019

Spice up your Sex Life while Pregnant and No it won’t Hurt the Baby

Ashley Causey-Golden

How do you feel about your body? That is a question that has multiple layers. For some, it depends on the day of the week and for others, the changes can be a boost to their confidence. Whatever camp that you fall in, your changing body can be a way to enjoy your changing sensuality and sexuality.  I am here to say that you are the captain of your self-love, body awareness, sensuality, and sexuality. I start with that because pregnancy leaves people with question marks hanging over their heads. For some, the thought of pregnancy makes having a conversation without discussing the baby impossible. That also goes for the people closest to you.  

 If you haven’t learned yet from my other posts, I am very much of a “let’s start at square one” kind of person—which means let’s start with you. So before you go googling and reading the countless blog posts about how to turn up the flames during pregnancy, you should start with answering the question, what does sexiness mean to you?

 Red lipstick and lingerie might not do it for you but what does? Does sexiness mean dancing? Being naked? Going on dates?

 However, you answered the “what does sexiness mean to you question should be the temperature you preheat the oven—your starting place. You must start with finding yourself the object of desire because all the affirmation and attention in the world won’t budget the needle for your self-love if you don’t believe it for yourself. This is not easy work. It may take multiple daily reminders to yourself to see the beauty, love, strength, and sexiness you possess. Take as many stops in front of the mirror as you need to manifest your words. It will happen.


 Have a conversation about what you want from your significant other. Sometimes it’s not about a lack of caring, it’s just not knowing how to adjust to the changes to your body and your relationship. Attending a babymoon or setting time aside for a date night are great starting places to have those candid conversations to build and strengthen your relationship.

To have sex or to not have sex? For those who has past the first-trimester hurdle of nausea, you may start experiencing an uptick in your sexual drive due to your hormones. Use this as a time for experimentation and take control of your pleasure. Oral and self-pleasure sex are great options especially if vaginal penetration is uncomfortable. For tips on helpful positions, check out Our Bodies Ourselves.

 Sexiness starts with self. I am not saying that your apprehensiveness or doubts are wrong or ill-placed because pregnancy is a marathon and some days it feels like you are doing all alone. But as the days get closer to you meeting your baby, remember that your body is not only home to your baby; your body is also home to the many different aspects of you.

Sending you peace, love and blessings for your journey ahead.